darn sweet john sent me this pic from the yiss camp last year.Attended this freaky life changing seminar with petrina. I am really sorry that i once and again fail to turn up for any meet ups with my seminar group (eternal). keep givin excuses on my part. but i guess truth is, i am totally lazy and maybe, my flame for religious stuff pretty much died down a whole lot. From what i can recall, i was crazy about the religion just right after my life altering experience from yiss. and now, i am a total slacker. but, sometimes i think, i'd feel more comfortable this way. Interacting with Him in my own personal way..like talking to Him silently at night..asking Him for blessings occassionally..praying and knowing that without an institution like a church to keep reminding me to keep going on in the religion, i would still remain faithful to Him. I guess i prefer not being attached to any groups in order to stick closer to God. that's why i always thought i felt kinda uncomfortable joining a cell group. Guess what's really for me is a personal, just me-and-God relationship. No church, no obligations, no meaningless-preachings-that-i-pretend-to-be-intensely-overwhelmed-by-them, no more trips to services just because people call my absence to the church back-sliding, making me utterly guilt conscious. I want a active approach. i will go service only when i want to.i will pray because i want to. and not because i feel guilty for laziness. if i think i am lazy, then as a matter of fact, i really am not, it is just me being out of passion for the time being. there is nothing that means 'lazy' if i were a willing party myself.

i guess i understand why some non-christians gets pretty pissed off when some christians are TTH (trying too hard)---->learnt this from my unbelievably absorbing romance novel about ultimate betrayal, which has too much sex content, which turns out pretty annoying at times.