♥ 6:12 AM

Have you ever felt so disappointed in someone you thought you trusted?
The feeling of deceit is a terrible one
It can turn you inside out
You don't even know what's going on
and one day and truth comes to light
and the halo on that person's head dims
then,
you realised you've been fooled
the world starts to make circles around you
everyone else knows what is going on
except poor you
you think you were living in that lovely land
picking flowers and catching butterflies
until this day it finally dawned on you
the flowers grow thorns and the butterflies, poisonous



Feeling really drenched by numerous flowing thoughts an tears, i decided to seek the help of my most trusted friend, God, The One that never fails me.

Open my bible and flipped through..finally landed at psalm.

psalm 55:3 20-23

my companion attacks his friends;
he violates his covenant;
his speech is smooth as butter,
yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet they are drawn swords.

Cast your cares on the Lord
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.
But you, O God, will bring down the wicked
into the pit of corruption;
bloodthirsty and deceitful men
will not live out half their days

But as for me, I trust in you.


Great thanks to God for always offering me the best answer..whether they are through the bible or through true friends..I thank you God for giving me great things in the midst of spoiled ones..Thanks for letting me see light in darkness..and teaching me this lesson i learnt today.

Before i read the bible, i have every right mind to tell the whole world what undesirable plight i was in and how pitiful i was to have met with such a sticky situation.
Moments later, as i was flipping through the bible, God gave me a thought. And it hit me hard in the head.
He said : " Now you know how it feels to be treated this way, would you still like to treat others like that too?"
At that moment, i was stunned. It dwelled on me that i am no halo-ed angel too. I could be those poisonous butterflies at times too. What right have i got to criticise and feel sorry for myself? It felt shameful.



Instead of drowning in self-pity, I thank you Lord, for the bread you give. Amen.




thanks to jw for listening to my probs and some other special people who enlightened me.

♥ 6:18 AM

♥ 1:03 AM

it's OVER!!!!
yippee!!
i am liberated!!
going out SHOPPINGGGGGGG tmr!!
smiles smiles keep falling on my head ta ta ta da~
haha



today a friend told me something about us..
and it was soo what i'd always felt
nobody ever told me that
and i never wanted to admit it too
because i knew it would make me feel really mean
but when she told me that
i realised
how i wanted someone to pin that point out for me
and tell me that she actually thought the same as i thought
and that what i felt was reasonable
instead of it being only on my part
what she said really made me even more sure of what i am doing
encouraged me to continue doing it this way
my decisions and actions may be so wrong and merciless in other people's eyes
but at least i know
it made me feel much much better
and liberated
i don't have to go on being unfair and insincere

♥ 3:42 AM